found this while browsing through. very meaningful !!!

INDEED !!!
I started my new life.
i braced up my courage to delete, throw & forget
all the unpleasent, unwanted & unworthy memories,
the pics (photo & files in pc),
the place that we went,
the clothes he wore before,
his contact no (although its still vividly on my mind),
his frenster & facebook
forgetting him in anyway that i can.
it's not that we're unable to be frens,
but i hope that we wont contact each other as i really cannot accept u as my fren.
treat it as i'm selfish & childish,
however, there is some kind of ppl who's unable to accept and put down everything,
treating it as nothing had actually happened & continued to be FRIENDS.

PH with W on 18/04/09 - Supafly,
we saw many familiar faces that we didnt get
to see for almost quite a few weeks & of cus, those regulars like,
Dancer, necklace boy, twinkle guy, china women, maxi, ...
these were the nicks created by us. LOL
not as many lokay, and it's fun & enjoying as Kzee spinned
his lastest March Remixes with our fav hits like
Blanco, Whine, Mosquito song and
not forgetting our Roll it gal, cookie jar, etc...
both W & me is like high daoooooooo ~ LOL

When i was about to make the 1st step to the stairs
as we had just arrived at PH,
a familiar face came up to me and asked,
" are u Belina?"
i stoned for a few seconds as i stared hard at him,
trying to recall who this guy was as
nobody named me as Belina after my sec school days.
i name myself nana after many mistaken me as Belinda.

The guy's name is, Jeremy.
He was one of the boyfrens i had during my sec school days.
was quite surprised that he had actually recognised me
and remembered my name after 5 long yrs.
He came with his besties, Damian, who rmb me as well
but i had clean forgotten who this guy was. =p
And, together, we partied till 4.30am.
sweet of them to send W & me home aftermath.
J & I chatted over the phone after i got home
he had refreshed my memory as
i couldnt rmb a single things that happened
when we're together last time
HOWEVER,
he could spell out every single places, my interest, my add
& everything we went tru last time.

i felt that heaven is playing on me right now.
recalling my past,

Mike's released,
Yongwei's released,
Guan Soon, contacted me after 1yr or so,
XiaoJian, msn me, claimed saw me at DBL O,
AK Ben, bumped into him @ DBL O,
Taizi writing letter to me,
Jeremy, met after 5yrs.

LOL ! wat's happening ?
wahahahahahahaha . . .

Counting down 3days to out genting trip.

i am a loser.
i regret everything that i've done.
why am i behaving this way?
why cant i just let everyone happy?
i know i've let u sisters down.
all of u have stood beside me no matter how many mistakes i've made.
supporting every good or bad decisions which i've made.
encouraging me but end up disappointing u all again and again.
i'm a failure in relationship and frenship.
once again, i made u sad.
i just cant forget the past with him.
everywhere i go, reminds me of him.
why! why is this so?
why am i regretting again?
just what do i wan?
i do not want to hurt anyone but
every decision which i made hurt everyone.
i hate myself for being so selfish.
i really hate the feeling i had now.
i cant turn back time.
wat mus i do now?
i need time to think over and over again.
i need to cool myself down
i need to ask wat do i really want in life.
why am i breaking the promise which i made?
i seek forgiveness from everyone which i've hurt.
my sincere apology to all.
i should have isolated myself and reflect.
i'm sorry.